Strawberry Fields Road Ralley...

I was reminded of two things today: it's not wise to drink and drive, and I make a lousy witness. Three quarters of our family unit were driving home from dinner in the evening on Sunday. We reached an intersection about one block away from our home.  We were sitting at the red light, waiting to make a right turn when we noticed a pickup truck fishtailing on the road.  As I'm watching this, I wonder if the driver will be able to regain control of the vehicle. The answer, as it turns out is "no." The truck veers to the right, and begins to rollover in our local strawberry field, forming a big cloud of dust. You see this all the time in the movies, but watching it occur before your eyes is quite a different experience. We all immediately wondered out loud if the driver and/or passengers were all right.

I pulled our car to the side of the road to get a better view of things. I see a guy, without a shirt and with tattoos all over his upper torso. He is stumbling around on the passenger side of the truck. Some people are walking up to him. At this time, the truck engine starts and the driver is trying to move the truck forward and backward out of the strawberry field. The right rear wheel just spins, not unlike Joe Pesci's Cadillac in "My Cousin Vinny." I think at this moment that some dirt or rocks might fly in the direction of our car. With this in mind, I move our car into the gravel covered parking lot, on the left side of the stuck truck. My eleven year old daughter (with the photographic memory) says that she sees the driver climb out of the window and fall to the ground. I see him, and notice that he is wearing a black T-Shirt and has short black hair. He is also stumbling around as he stands outside the truck.

It is about this time that the first police car shows up. There are scattered witnesses that begin to congregate around the officer and his car. Meanwhile, the two guys from the truck are very close to us, behind our car. There is a woman standing outside of her minivan directly behind us. She is telling the shirtless guy to hurry up and put on a T-Shirt. Then she tells the guys to hurry up and get in the car. It is somewhere around this time that we realize that something shady is going on. We are kind of watching in amazement as they load up in the minivan and begin to leave the gravel parking area. My wife runs to the police officer and points out that the two guys are getting away, as she point to the minivan.

The police peels out to the parking lot across the street in pursuit of the minivan. Moments after this, a small army of policemen in their cars arrive and the flashing red and blue lights are everywhere. We begin to hear sirens in the distance, followed by their sources: two fire trucks, two paramedics and more police cars. They all go in the direction of the minivan and the first police car.

We are then, calmly separated into groups for a recap with the officers. It's a good thing that the little quiz that we were subjected to wasn't for a letter grade because I began to feel like a total idiot. I was reminded of the OJ Simpson trial and the fine detail that people were able to recall. I was fifteen minutes away from our little incident and I was having major problems with some of the details.

"What did the passenger look like?" I just remembered the tattoos all over his back.

"Can you remember what the tattoos said or depicted?" No.

"What did the driver look like?" I remember a black t-shirt and short black hair.

"Could you identify him if you saw him again?" No.

"What did the woman in the minivan look like?" She was wearing a red or orange shirt and was a little on the heavier side.

"What do you mean by 'on the heavier side'?" Luckily my wife answered that question. I'm terrible at guessing weights. I hate to embarrass a person with an overestimation - even if that person is a suspect who is aiding and abetting a criminal.

"Could you identify her if you saw her again?" No.

I left the scene very proud of my wife and daughter. They filled in some of the blanks that had escaped my swiss cheese brain. I will try to pay more attention the next time I see a truck roll over right in front of my eyes. In the meantime, I can only recap the following nuggets of advice for those who care: Don't drink and drive. Don't try to flee the scene of a car accident, abandoning your vehicle in the process. When fleeing the scene of a car accident, don't jump into just anyone's car; make sure it's a really good friend who also likes the view from behind bars.